Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Wow, over four months since my last entry. I’d like to say that I’ve been busy traveling the world (well I did kind of do that), playing rock shows, and going to umm dinner with super models (or porn starlets). Obviously that’s not the case, but it’s not that I didn’t have anything to write about, I always have something to say. I just feel no momentous change has occurred in my life. Actually, that’s precisely it. I’ll write an article about my perpetual stagnation. This should be a big hit. Even better, I’ll leave it intentionally vague and as impersonal as possible. I’ll then base it around emotions since they are the foundation of the human psyche (maybe they’re not, I made that up). Okay, on with the rant.Yep, it’s amazing how tedious the process of change can be.
It’s almost like our personas have been programmed by some divine computer, and no matter how hard we try to break free from certain negative emotions, we keep finding ourselves latching onto them time and time again. Whatever the specific emotion(s) may be, it almost feels like a hopeless conquest to defeat the one thing that causes us our most unhappiness – our selves. Think about it for a second. The subjective states of our own reality can be interpreted in many different lights. Obviously something that irks you can have little to no effect on someone else. Some people are more prone to anger, depression, jealousy, anxiety and an entire cluster fuck of negative emotions (I’ve always wanted to use cluster fuck in a sentence). Whether or not these emotions are learned behaviors from early childhood or perhaps biological traits is a mystery to me. But that’s really beside the point. What we’re talking about here is change. Change within the self can occur; it just takes a lot of time, and even more effort.
During the process of willful change one begins to become disgruntled. They begin to think ‘Is it even desirable to change? I am who I am; I was just born that way. Will I still be me if I change? What if these negative emotive states can actually increase my overall level of happiness; because we all know life is not as sweet without the sour…right?’ In actuality all these points are moot. Worthless emotions like anger, depression, jealousy and so forth do nothing for anyone - All they are is excess baggage (it’s a real burden to carry around, and has a tendency of getting in the way of others). The end result isn’t a bad back, but a feeling of isolation in our own self created hell.
As for me, I haven’t changed one damn bit (okay maybe a smidge) – but knowing the enemy is half the battle. You know, come to think of it, the process of change is so much fucking work. If you’re not out there constantly kicking your negative thoughts in the ass progress will never be achieved. I’m going to continue writing these blogs more regularly now; something inspired me to do so. I know I could make them far more entertaining to read, but sometimes I think I take my life far too seriously.
Po - memoriesforsale.blogspot.com
Labels: articles
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you are so hot when you write intellectually... ~Kevin
I definitely agree with the analysis that "other people won't understand your emotions or why you feel that way."
But...
Apathy is a state of stagnation.
Obviously, you can see whats wrong in your life... and things around you that you think are wrong.
The critical self-analysis is what is most important.
Some people are so caught up in their paradigms that they are unable to critique themselves.
You made it sound as though the 'negative emotions' were who you really were; that they define your true personality and that your coping with it is nothing more than some outside social pressure.
But the critique; the will to change these emotions; can just as much be 'you.'
I mean... as a child, I really don't remember alot of negativity.
So maybe this is the third cycle of the persona.
1.Blissful ignorance, 2.a negativity crisis (rejection of bliss), and now a reclaimation effort... truth seeking...
Its not that happiness was ever wrong; its just that the way it was presented to us wasn't very solid.
You'd have to be retarded to believe that shit they told us.
The conclusion was always correct. Now we just need to find the right premises.
You are over-thinking it.
Haha, I'm kidding, that's my answer to almost anything... but I would say you are headed in a more positive direction, and that is what matters...happiness
Cheers
P.S. Jake, you have a retarded sister